Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Office - The Sales Report

Jim dies. The office weeps. They soon realize that weeping for the fallen will not cure their ills, so they systematically fall into a deep and dark depression. Pam tries to figure out when she will die, and Michael begins the understand the irony that his entire life's work has been built up to nothing.

Meanwhile Dwight has a zany war with Dunder Mifflin's New York Headquarters about the validity of a sales report he forged with beet juice. A real funny little piece. Until he is hit by a motorcycle.

Fin

Two and a Half Men - The Loose Woman

Charlie meets a loose woman. They engage in a meaningless extramarital affair that causes no hardship to either of their lives. They then part and go their separate ways. The only reason this is different than one of the normal episodes of two and a half men is the long internal monologues Jake Harper questioning the existence of a force greater than death.

Fin

Friends - The One About the Sneezing

Chandler gets a cold and begins sneezing uncontrollably and Monica begins getting very nervous about the germs getting all over their apartment. Rachel and Ross can't help but think that they're child gave the sickness to Chandler, Joey tries his best to remember his family's old medicine recipe and Phoebe writes numerous songs about how the sneezing has to stop. Soon Phoebe's songs begin to turn more violent and pessimistic, calling for the death of Chandler. Chandler slowly gets sicker and sicker, unable to fathom that he might be suffering from a serious malady. Monica tries to bring in a doctor, her ex-boyfriend Richard, but Chandler refuses to see him, as he has taken to believing in God, and knows he will be cured. Joey sits by his friend, head hung, as Chandler slowly withers away and dies in the last five minutes of the episode. Rachel and Ross feel nothing but numb.

Fin

Seinfeld - The Cheese Shop

On a shopping trip Jerry can't figure out which cheese he wants to purchase: Colby Jack or Monterey Jack. George is an ardent Colby Jack fan, Elaine a staunch Monterey fan. Meanwhile Kramer finds a cow in Manhattan and decides that he's going to start his own milk farm in his apartment. Soon however, Jerry realizes that there's no point in purchasing either of the cheeses, as cheese is just a pit stop on the way to death. Kramer begins to fall in love with nothing by himself and George and Elaine slowly begin to understand the futility of their stupid lives.

Fin.